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Translation from PR-Speak to English of Selected Portions of Steve Jobs’ “A Greener Apple” Article

(“A Greener Apple”.)

A note of comparison — Dell, Gateway, Hewlett Packard and Lenovo still ship CRT displays today.

Man, PCs are old.

The European Union is generally ahead of the U.S. in restricting toxic substances in electronic products.

The EU is slightly less corrupt than is the US.

Apple products met both the spirit and letter of the RoHS restrictions on cadmium, hexavalent chromium and brominated flame retardants years before RoHS went into effect.

Not all Apple products met the spirit or the letter of the RoHS restrictions until just before they went into effect. However, some did, and we’re going to milk that.

A note of comparison — Some electronics companies, whose names you know, still rely on RoHS exemptions and use these toxic chemicals in their products today.

Don’t get a PS3.

Apple is on track to introduce our first displays using arsenic-free glass in 2007.

Leopard was on track to ship this Spring.

A small number of high performance integrated circuits (ICs) will continue to contain a minute amount of arsenic as an element of the semiconductor substrate.

As a result, I am high as a kite.

Our ability to completely eliminate fluorescent lamps in all of our displays depends on how fast the LCD industry can transition to LED backlighting for larger displays.

It’s not our fault.

For example, more than three million iPods have already shipped with a BFR-free laminate on their logic boards.

Apple is working in the cover of darkness to secretly eliminate chemicals while our retail store personel has to sit there and take it. I cannot fathom why Greenpeace is after us.

Hewlett Packard has not yet publicly stated when they will eliminate the use of PVC and BFRs in their products, but has said that they will publish a plan by the end of 2007 which will state when in the future they will eliminate the use of these toxic chemicals in their products.

Hewlett Packard is considering starting an exploratory committee.

A note of comparison — In 2007 HP stated that they will remove PVC from all their packaging. Apple did this 12 years ago. Last year, Dell began the process of phasing out large quantities of brominated flame retardants in large plastic enclosure parts. Apple’s plastic enclosure parts have been bromine-free since 2002.

Man, PCs are filthy.

In one environmental group’s recent scorecard, Dell, HP and Lenovo all scored higher than Apple because of their plans (or “plans for releasing plans” in the case of HP). In reality, Apple is ahead of all of these companies in eliminating toxic chemicals from its products.

Dear Greenpeace,

Fuck you.

Love,
Steve.

The iMac is a world-class example of material efficiency, having shed 60% of its weight since its debut in 1998.

In case you didn’t notice… that CRT? Gone.

Our designs use aircraft-grade aluminum, stainless steel and high-grade plastics that are in high demand from recyclers, who recover and resell these raw materials for use in other types of products. Few of our competitors do the same.

Man, PCs are ugly.

Let me take a moment to talk specifically about iPods, even though they are included in the above data. All of Apple’s U.S. retail stores, which now number more than 150, take back unwanted iPods for environmentally friendly disposal free of charge. As an incentive, we even offer customers a 10% discount on a new iPod when they bring their old iPod to our stores for proper disposal.

iPod iPod iPod, iPod iPod. Recycling. iPod iPod iPod, iPod.

We will be providing updates of our efforts and accomplishments at least annually, most likely around this time of the year.

Isn’t it funny – a ship that leaks from the top?

We are also beginning to explore the overall carbon “footprint” of our products, and may have some interesting data and issues to share later this year.

In case you didn’t notice… that Al Gore? On Apple’s board.

Comments

  1. great stuff. my favorite part:

    Dear Greenpeace,

    Fuck you.

    Love, Steve.

    By http://frijole.livejournal.com/ · 2007.05.02 21:28

  2. […] Translation from PR-Speak to English of Selected Portions of Steve Jobs’ “A Greener Apple” Art… […]

    By NerdStarGamer » Blog Archive » Translation from PR-Speak of ‘A Greener Apple’ · 2007.05.02 22:25

  3. […] better, check this Translation From PR-Speak to English of Selected Portions of Steve Jobs’s ‘A Greener App…. Here’s my favorite excerpt: Dear […]

    By ‘A Greener Apple’ · 2007.05.03 07:53

  4. […] ujautrināja waffle publicētais “tulkojums” no PR-angļu valodas uz angļu valodu, protams, kolorītākais un, savā ziņā, arī trāpītais tieši desmitniekā ir sekojošais […]

    By attic » Blog Archive » Ābols būs zaļāks · 2007.05.03 18:50

  5. Classic stuff.

    By jrphelps · 2007.05.03 19:25

  6. […] green than the campaign, Slashdot grumpily dismissed the quality of the Greenpeace campaign and this translates the subtext of the Steve Jobs […]

    By Podnosh Blog : High Fibre Podcasting » Archive » Greenmyapple bears fruit. · 2007.05.04 09:51

  7. iPod iPod iPod, iPod iPod. Recycling. iPod iPod iPod, iPod. My favorite part here. Thanks for a couple minutes of laughs :)

    By http://amaxskv.livejournal.com/ · 2008.01.04 23:57

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